The Past that Dwindles Along with Friendships
by Inuchemist10
Summary: Manga as canon, volume 14. Edward gets furious after King Bradley tells him why he can not quit the state, he has much to shoulder, and must do one more thing before his next mission. Part 1 of trilogy. Rated M. no flames!


Edward was so mad he was seeing red all over

**The Past that Dwindles Along with Friendships, Blossoming into a Hopeful Future**

_A/N- This a little Ed/Win, I say a little b/c they are not officially together. There are probably spoilers for the manga and I change stuff. This is rated M for angsty junk and references to sexual 'things', but sparsely lime...eh maybe...anyway enjoy! _

_**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or the characters...just love writing about them...**_

Edward was so mad he was seeing red all over. How dare they? How dare they use Winry as pull against him? And what purpose? To use him as a weapon of destruction, despair and chaos. His mind bussed like hoards of wasps in a fighting frenzy as he stomped the corridors that lead away from Furor King Bradley. He was not only enraged, but almost sick to his stomach. How could they know? How could they even have a inkling of knowledge how much Winry Rockbell, childhood friend and personal mechanic meant to him. He had never showed an ounce of emotion regarding her; it was strictly business. Auto mail wearer and mechanic; that was it nothing else. And that is exactly how the alchemist wanted it. He treated her poorly most of the time and was much harsher that he ever intended to be.

It was for her own good, her own protection. Just as he needed to protect his bodiless, little brother; he needed to protect the only girl who do just about anything for him. Edward had sworn he would never let emotion blind him, yet when that despicable man mentioned her name something in him snapped. Maybe it was the pretense Bradly used, or how maniacal his tone seemed. Then and there Edward had been ready to turn in his watch, his research and his title. He would have in a heart beat if so much was not at steak. His brother was still stuck in a hollow shell, which was his fault. And now the life of his oldest friend was tossed on the line.

Lt. Jean Havoc waited in a black military car to take Edward back to the hotel. He has just plucked his cigarette out the window when Edward got into the back, slamming the car door shut. Havoc glanced back to where the alchemist sulked, brewing, simmering and boiling.

"They gave ya a tough time didn't they?" He asked as he started the engine of the vehicle.

Edward narrowed yellow eyes and glared out the window, resting his right cheek in a cool auto mail hand. "You could see that..." He scoffed, his gaze fixed at the moving scenery.

"Don't worry about it kid, Mustangs on the trail." Havoc attempted cheerfully, lighting another cigarette. Edward snapped his gaze back to the man driving and clenched his metal fist.

"On the trail huh? If his is like you claim...then TELL ME WHY THE HELL THEV'E GOT WINRY!?" Edward bellowed, his voice amplified by the small space.

Havoc was silent for a moment, puffing on his cigarette. "Look kid, we all know that things are looking bad. Just try to do what Mustang instructs, trust me. He has good intentions and he is looking out for your greater interest...both you and Alphonse. He knows about your girlfriend too, don't blow a gasket." Havoc smirked, eyeing up dumbfounded Alchemist.

Edward was still angry. The car ride had only amplified is sour mood. His thoughts were racing and his chest felt tight with feeling he had never felt, which got worse every time he thought of his mechanic. He kicked the door open the room and started his brother, whose armor rattled as he flinched. Edward yanked his pocket watch off and blindly threw against the wall. It clanked loudly against the wall and fell to the floor clicking open; revealing the words that Edward engraved in it so long ago.

"Brother...what happened?" Alphonse questioned as he then watched his sibling kick the bedside table with a metal booted foot. The table fell along with all of its components. The books that were read several times over fell to the floor, pages open and astray. The lamp broke too, glass shattered all about the hard wood floor. Edward sank to the bed, raking his hands through his unbound, knotted hair. He shook his head and pushed his palm in front of his face.

"Damn it!" He cried, muffled through his hands. Alphonse gently stooped down and gently began to pick the items up that had fell. Edward remained silent after a moment.

"Brother..." Al began softly. Edward stood quickly and crossed the room, grabbed his black, long coat, firmly pulling it from the coat rack. He turned towards his baffled brother and pointed a flesh index finger towards the suit of armor.

"Stay here Alphonse. Don't answer the door or the phone...there's something I need to do right now. I should be back around 2am." He explained sternly.

"But Ed-" Alphonse was cut off short when Edward abruptly slammed the door in his wake.

The sky turned orange streaked with blue hues. The stairs had already started to twinkle and Winry was not aware of the event as she continued to run her drill. She had so many orders to fill and quite frankly she was glad she had those orders. It kept her mind off the Elrics, more importantly Edward. He had called her, which was strange enough. The conversation had been short and uneventful. It seemed that the alchemist had a case of severe paranoia. He was rube (as always) and he could not seem to maintain a non-yelling tone. But something else struck her bluntly. It was the worry behind his voice that concerned her. Ever since he joined the military he was cold, unemotional ( towards her) and distant. He only allowed her to touch in the confines of her workshop during auto mail upgrades. He was utterly untouchable and Winry questioned just how much of the human part of her longtime friend was left. The military hardened the teen. Turned him into what they seemed worthy and useful; a weapon and a tool.

He would not let her into even a shard of his and Al's life. He came to her more that one occasion, battered, bruised and injured. Yet nothing she asked could even get a simple answer. It was one lie after another. One excuse, followed by another. She was getting so tired of the secrets, the darkness. But her heart told her she had to be there for them and help them on their quest anyway she could. She had a made a promise and a vowel to keep to her best friend. No matter what, she had to hold her end of the bargain. If that meant holding her heart back and dealing, then that was exactly what she was going to do.

She sighed hard, wiping her sweaty brow and adjusting her peach bandana. She pulled the bottom her zippered tube top down, curling her fingers at the material at the bottom of her breasts. She looked to the unfinished leg at her work station and turned the drill off. Reaching for the appendage, she stopped min-motion when she heard Garfiel's lisping voice boom stairs. Another voice was heard, that for a second she thought was Edward's. Blinking she banished the thought know already that Edward was still in Central. She grabbed the leg and turned the drill back on. She fixed her goggles off her nose and onto her eyes and went to work. A moment later as she was grinding a stubborn port, her drill shut off.

"What the..." She began as her eyes traveled to the switch ion the side where she saw a very familiar auto mail hand; a right auto mail hand to be exact, with a small scratch on the carpels plates.

Her breath hitched as she turned. The leg fell to the floor with a loud clank. Edward stood (actually an inch or so taller than herself!) wearing a horrible scowl. His amber eyes were harshly narrowed, with his brows knitted together and thin-lipped frown set on his lips. His face was rouge from the chill in the air. He wore a long black coat (much like the other alchemist in the military) with a white button-up and black trousers. He boots were dusty with fresh dirt.

"Ed..." She trailed off, surprised to see the young man. She gazed briefly at his loose hair and caught her self as a blush crept across her fair face. She hadn't realized how much he had grown over the years. He was filling out voids of the man he was to become.

She blinked a few times averting her gaze to his mechanical hand. Narrowing her own blue eyes, she spoke. "You broke it again didn't you?" She snapped, pulling her goggles off. She expected him to yell back, most likely obnoxiously. But nothing came; instead she registered a shaky sigh.

"Edward?" She softened. "What's wrong? What are you doing here? I though you were still in Central...well that's where you were when you called. Is everything all right?"

"No..." She heard him whisper. She went to turn to cross the room, but a firm, yet easy auto mail hand rested on her shoulder. She quickly noticed that the door was shut, something she hadn't done. She had always kept the door open when alone with her non-living work. If patients were there (like currently) the door was shut for privacy.

A moment later she felt the counter of her drill dig into her lower back and the warmest set of lips. She didn't have enough time to register that it was Edward's lips caressing her own. Or the fact a flesh hand had woven itself through her hair. But she did register warm, wet liquid cascading down neck and chest.

"Winry..." He breathed, but continued to chastely kiss her. Winry's saucer-like eyes adjusted to see the tear tracks down Edward's cheeks. Her heart sped up and her knees threatened to buckle. This could not be the Edward Elric she knew. The Edward she knew was so far from reach; and yet here he was so close and so warm. She decided she had to ne dreaming this one.

That was until, she heard him speak. "Winry...damn it...Winry..." He sobbed quietly and continued to kiss her lips as he spoke. "I'm...so...sorry...they got...you...not...you...I...jus wanted...to fix things...I never meant all that shit I put you through..." His voice cracked. Winry wanted to cry with him. She could smell him, feel him, taste him and hear him. First the first time in so many years she could have all five senses of Edward. Yet her heart demanded to know where all this came from and what exactly the hell was going on.

"Ed-" She tried, but she shushed her with cool metal fingers. He pulled back and held her face with both hands now.

"You have to just listen, woman." He smiled with his voice. "They have you...the fuckin' military. I have to do what they want me too now...the dog on a leash. . If I don't Winry...they...they might hurt you. I can't let that happen. I played by the rules all these years Winry...an' I did it for you and Al. I treated you the way I did so they wouldn't know...I didn't want them to know. Hell, I didn't know. I never wanted to be like I was but I had to do it. Tell me you understand that. Things are no getting any better. They are talkin' war now. I have to do it for you and Al. I have to fix things...fix us. I can't tell you all the details...but I can tell you that..." Edward stopped, his head flexed downward, bangs covering his eyes.

Winry stood in shock. She was elated by his rash behavior, but irritated as well. How was the military using her and what could they have possibly done to shake the toughest man she knew.

"You always questioned didn't you?" Edward muttered shyly. "You always questioned me right? When I left Resembool the first time, I felt like I lost everything...well I did...but it was worse than that. And I couldn't figure it out then, but today when Bradley threatened your life. I knew. I knew it an' I don't know what's gonna happen now. It's not like they don't know...that's why I came here I jus' wanted...wanted to tell you..."

Edward huffed over is stumbling vocabulary. "Damn it..." He seethed.

"Edw-" Winry's breath could have been taken with the force the young man used to pull her against his body. His arms encircled her shoulders and she flushed when she felt her breasts pushed against his hard chest. She could feel every muscle, every sniff plane of his warm chest. She could feel his heart pounding against her own. And she could certainly feel the heat of his breath on her neck. She returned the hug, flushing madly, and circling her arms around his upper back; where she could also feel firm muscles and steel. She breathed him in fully; he smelled of sweat, stale soap, oil and what only she could think was plain and simple- a man. Her long time, stubborn and bulled headed friend that ate bugs and blew spit balls was no long a boy, but a man that she never imagined he would become.

Edward inhaled; the scent of lilies, oil, metal and perspiration. The skin he felt on his flesh fingertips was as soft as velvet and he wondered if it had always been this soft. His breath stilled as he felt her soft breasts so tightly pulled against his chest. He could feel ever inch of her curves. How could the once flat chested skinny tomboy turn into the beauty she was today and when did it happen? Why did their lives change so much and tragedy occur?

How in the hell were they able to keep to together and remain strong?

Edward knew the answer, but refused to let the word cross his mind. All that mattered was that the word was true. He would let it consume and fulfill him when everything was made right.

Everything. Al needed body. Winry needed to be safe and Edward needed his limbs back. Sometimes it irked him when she was so damn forgiving. Why couldn't she be a little more pissed off, throw a wrench, a screwdriver; a freakin' chair would do. Something to make the ache he felt in his chest go away.

Edward felt her hands smooth down his back and cringed with the sensation that when down his spine. He pulled away, glancing at the clock on the wall and back to Winry's pink face and misting somber eyes.

"I have to go...Al's waiting and I stole a car..." He muttered, looking to his boots. He stepped back, clearing his throat and pulling at the color of his coat. Winry's face fell and disappointment took over. There he was again shutting her out when never truly told her what was going on and why he came so abruptly to see her, kiss her and cry to her.

Edward doesn't cry. He doesn't hug, he doesn't bury his face into her neck and he doesn't touch. He doesn't let anything get too far under his skin (except the occasional short rant) and he doesn't have any feelings that relate to love with the opposite sex. He loves his brother and once his mother. Not a real, breathing, caring woman that works her self to illness to make limbs so he can be safe.

It just isn't reality.

"You stole a miliary car, Edward?" She scoffed, avoiding looking at him. She suddenly became angry with herself for falling into this so-called dream.

"You're a damn trouble maker, even my dreams. Now go away and let me wake up." She barked quietly. She turned away from the only person she ever loved, and probably will always love.

Idiot.

The last remains of Edward temper flared up, like an inflammation. He huffed, clenching fists at his sides.

"You think this is a dream?!" He yelled in his usual fashion. "That's how you feel...answer me, woman. You think I drove, nearly wrecked three times for three hours, stole a car, left my poor brother in a state, and risked getting into deeper shit with the military and worse Mustang because you think your dreaming?!"

She heard his foot move. She turned quickly jabbing a finger into his chest. "Well why the hell not, Ed? Ever since you left four years ago I waited, took care of you and waited some more. I never got so much as a damn thank you from you! I get the silent treatment when ever I see you and Al...and you expect me to believe that you came here, kissed me...an' let me in for a moment?!" She hollered back, jabbing her finger several times into his sternum.

"WELL?" She demanded her eyes on fire. Her face flushed and her lips delightfully swollen. Her hair was a mess and she probably needed a bath. Edward blinked a few times, aggressively failing in not noticing her perked nipples underneath her tube top, or how curvy her hips truly were. Did she realize how wonderful she looked when she was ablaze?

Damn.

She swiftly grabbed a ratchet of some sort and waved it in the air. There was not way in hell he was going to let her hit him with a damned tool.

"Damn it Ed, jus' get ou-" Her statement was yet again interrupted. Edward grabbed her shoulders roughly and pushed her into the opposite counter, his arms sliding down to grab her wrists as his lips again found hers. And this time he wasn't as gentle as he first was. She made a attempt to scream but she was silenced effortlessly as Edward's body pressed against her so hard it almost hurt. She felt his tongue swivel against her bottom lip and the ratchet fell from her hand.

"Does...answer...your...question..." He panted, kissing her neck. For the life of him he really had no clue what he was doing. But what ever the case, it seemed to be working. Winry was no longer fighting him. Her lips (by her move) were at his again, frenzied as she begged for him to open up. Her hands gripped the rough fabric of his coat. Edward responded slowly and the ache in his chest burned. His trembling hands pushed items aside that were on the counter, not knowing or caring what they were. He vaguely heard the items hit the floor and his waist was suddenly enveloped by her thighs. He felt her warm, slightly callused hands slide under his shirt and the heat that once resided in his face, went down south. She was so rough, but sweet and...soft. Everything was soft, her lips, her hair, her skin, and her breasts...her legs. It was just occurred to the alchemist that he was hip to hip with his mechanic. Winry made a small noise from the back of her throat as she felt the heat between her knees rise. Edward heard the noise and stilled as his hips instantly went forward and his pants were tight.

What the hell was he doing? He should be on his way back to Central, right now before his poor brother gets the wrath.

Shit.

Edward lowered his metal hand and pinched his thigh. With one last suck of her bottom lip, he pulled away.

"I...really... have... to go..." He told her breathlessly, adjusting his clothes. Winry moved off the counter and picked up her bandana that had fallen off long ago.

She smiled graciously. "I know Ed." He nodded and turned, opening the door.

"Edward? You inform me right? I mean about the situation with me and the State?" She asked. "An' you made a promise I hope you intend on keeping...Oh and Ed? Thank you..." She teared up.

Edward turned and flashed her a toothy grin. "For what, Win? You knew all along..."

And with that he left as quickly as he came. Garfiel appeared shortly after Edward back disappeared. He still wore his pink apron and had some sort of spatula in his hand. "Oh Lord, Honey what happened in here? You didn't try kill Edward did you?" He asked, waving his instrument around dramatically.

"No, mister Garfiel. He's just fine...at least for another month until the moron wrecks another one of my master pieces."

Even if he did she would not hit the next time she saw him. She would kiss the pain away, not cause it.

_A/N- Eh... Well... it was inspired by volume 14 of the manga. And yeah I changed something...so what...I'm the author so yeah I wanted to change some things. I liked how incredibly emotional this was and all the angst. A always R and R! Thanks! LC_


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